Mind (your own writing)
Apr. 7th, 2005 01:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
franceslievens"I was dissapointed in your blog," he says. I am stunned. Some questioning look spreads over my face. I can bite my tongue for letting him read in the first place. If only I had kept my big mouth shut. He doesn't notice my dissapointment with his statement, and goes on: "I expected something different. I expected your ideas, your mind, as it were."
"Well ya-ah," I say, "who do you think I am? Some exhibitionistic freak who wants attention from whomever drops by?" I want attention. I cannot deny that, but I don't want attention from whomever drops by. I want attention from those people that matter to me, those that I look up at. When danah boyd reads an entry and comments (!) I feel special. Hers is one of the first blogs I started reading frequently. She's this "internet-celebrity" for me, but one that has some interesting things to say as well. Her way of blogging in public is one I like. Write the things you like, think about your public, but also think about yourself. Personal posts interlace research driven questions. Blogging is a personal communication tool.
Still I find a way to get my ideas and my mind out. It is there in between the words, in the way I write my stories, in the choices I make when linking to interesting things. And it's probably all very "charming and intelligent".
That's what he says: "You're charming and intelligent." Thank you for giving me that visual.
"I'll take it as a compliment," I say. But what does it mean when a man calls you charming? Old ladies find young lads that get up for them in a bus "quite charming". I don't want to be charming. I want to be sexy, seductive, a bitch at times even, but charming? It sounds so lady-like, so completely and utterly uncool. Ach, he doesn't even know that sometimes I write porn.
P.S.: It's the curls that do it, isn't it?
"Well ya-ah," I say, "who do you think I am? Some exhibitionistic freak who wants attention from whomever drops by?" I want attention. I cannot deny that, but I don't want attention from whomever drops by. I want attention from those people that matter to me, those that I look up at. When danah boyd reads an entry and comments (!) I feel special. Hers is one of the first blogs I started reading frequently. She's this "internet-celebrity" for me, but one that has some interesting things to say as well. Her way of blogging in public is one I like. Write the things you like, think about your public, but also think about yourself. Personal posts interlace research driven questions. Blogging is a personal communication tool.
Still I find a way to get my ideas and my mind out. It is there in between the words, in the way I write my stories, in the choices I make when linking to interesting things. And it's probably all very "charming and intelligent".
That's what he says: "You're charming and intelligent." Thank you for giving me that visual.
"I'll take it as a compliment," I say. But what does it mean when a man calls you charming? Old ladies find young lads that get up for them in a bus "quite charming". I don't want to be charming. I want to be sexy, seductive, a bitch at times even, but charming? It sounds so lady-like, so completely and utterly uncool. Ach, he doesn't even know that sometimes I write porn.
P.S.: It's the curls that do it, isn't it?
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no subject
Date: 2005-04-08 06:35 am (UTC)Blargh.
(And yes, sometimes I enjoy being charming and other times, NO!)
no subject
Date: 2005-04-08 07:44 am (UTC)Funny thing is, I didn't even know I was charming. It must be something I do unconsciously. Or maybe I simply do it around this particular person...
Yes, sometimes being charming is fun, and other times I don't want to be charming, and none of the times I want to be told I am charming. Especially when you take into account the word in Dutch (charmant) sounds rather outdated.