Doubt

[franceslievens]

Last week I heard my colleagues talking about immigrants invading their all white neighbourhoods, and I couldn't quite make out whether they were being funny in a very unfunny way, or meant their racist bullshit. That day an equally vitriolic mail went out from the school email address. I didn't receive it, because someone had sent me a big attachment and filled my mailbox. So I could witness the fallout and name calling without knowing what it was all about. It left me wondering why I teach, because frankly I don't know any more.
Some time ago Crazy Headteacher, with whom I've always had a good understanding, declared she'd rather get rid off the world view subjects. What my colleagues and I teach should be part of the regular curriculum. I felt like an easy way of providing the form teachers with two free periods. It doesn't matter what I teach, as long as I keep the children busy and happy. Whether I make an effort of my lessons or not: my colleagues wouldn't really notice.
I've been doing a lot of work lately: a project about different cultures in one school, the Spring festivities for the little ones of first and second form, my own classes. None of this ever gives me some kind of fulfilment. Even if a colleague tells me I've done a good job – which seldom happens – it never makes me jump up and "That's why we do it!" Every thumbs up stands next to lots of ignorant faces.
I sing, because that's where I get patted on the back. Unfortunately I can't put enough effort in it. Life is never what I would have liked of it.

Comments

[sister-luck.livejournal.com]

It sounds like your colleagues need to be taught in your subject!

But that's not your job... You're making sure that the next generation will have fewer ignorant faces.

As to white neighboorhoods (and I'm keeping the typo): My colleague of Turkish descent confessed today that he moved into one of those hoping for less crime only to have next-door's very German junkie son try to steal his scooter and scare his pregnant wife. He's got a court date next week.

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

There are colleagues that know what's going on in our classes and that support what we try to do, but sometimes I look at them all and think: "If all my pupils will only turn into this, I better quit." And then I have a little chat with K., who lives nearby and like me loves living in the city, unlike our other colleagues. Or the fifth form teacher remarks how my pupils tell me stuff they would never tell her. Those little conversations make it all worthwhile.

For some sick reason I find your anecdote kinda funny. I must have a sick sense of humour. :-/

[sister-luck.livejournal.com]

Amazingly, he told that story with a wry smile - he said that his own prejudices tripped him up. Though of course he really wants scooter-junkie to move elsewhere.

Yay for the good colleagues!