Happenings

[franceslievens]

Li'l Bit celebrated her ten months today by pulling herself into a standing position and making the life of the ladies at daycare miserable, because she hasn't figured out yet how to sit once she's up. So there's a lot of bad tempered crying when no-one frees her from this annoying position she put herself in.

P.'s in Oxford again, and I've got stupid meetings to attend, and those meetings are not during office hours. My parents in law spend a lot of evenings over here. I genuinely hate it. The more they need to come round, the more I just want to do everything by myself. I can't quite put my finger on what they do wrong, but it annoys the hell out of me. I should be grateful. Or so everyone says. I just don't like how they wish to take everything from me at the slightest problem or a filled schedule on my part. And what I really hate, is that after ten months they're still unable to behave towards LB as they would towards every other child on the street.

Comments

[sister-luck.livejournal.com]

I can relate a little. K.'s parents are okay, but my parents constantly invite themselves, inventing reasons to come over like presents from relatives that they forgot to give us the last time they saw us, offering babysitting duties for events that we haven't even planned yet etc.

They mean well, and they're totally in love with Kingston, especially SportyGrandma. She is very supportive, but on the other hand she worries even more than I do! (Her theory that the weight gain problems were caused by us not dressing him warm enough was quite something! Even at my most irrational I knew that was silly.)

In some ways, it's the privilege of grandparents to spoil their grandchild - and of course, s/he's not like 'every other child on the street' - s/he is special!

But I get that this can lead to friction with the parents: Their meddling takes away their independence as a parent and it might even make the parents feel like the grandparents doubt their abilities.

Talking about that with them seems to be very difficult if not useless - their good intentions get in the way, though it might work with specific offers. We declined having SportyGrandma cook for us (and thus getting another visit with the grandchild) by telling her that we've got a full freezer. I actually told her that she doesn't need to come up with reasons like that - she doesn't need an excuse if she wants to come over.

Maybe you can find some ways to get around their frequent visits? I seem to remember that you've got several friends with kids around LB's age - maybe you can organize some mutual babysitting arrangements with them?