6 months

[franceslievens]

We've decided on a stroller. In three months we'll need it.
I've unpacked the boxes with clothes Big Sis gave me – and repacked them again. I don't know whether I've got enough clothes, or will need more. No-one really tells you how many things you need, or how long small clothes will last until a baby has outgrown them. Most people just want you to buy everything, whether you'll use it only once or every single day. Having a baby must be the most capitalistically exploited natural act in human life.

Comments

[comava.livejournal.com]

That looks like a pretty flexible design, looks practical. I like the apple style.

I was about to mention the wedding industry (ridiculously expensive and just for one day) but then I saw "natural act", so yes, I agree with you!

[sister-luck.livejournal.com]

But what about sex without the baby-making part? It would be interesting to compare who makes more money - those selling babygear or those selling porn and sex toys?

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

I think the porn industry makes more money, but the baby industry is very effective in making you believe you should buy certain expensive things for your child's safety and well-being. The porn industry usually doesn't play on your guilt feelings.

[sister-luck.livejournal.com]

That's certainly true. The porn industry doesn't want you to feel guilty about having sex - that's what religions are there for. On the other hand, the porn industry does feed on feelings of inadequacy and thus sells all sorts of 'marital aids'.

Parental guilt is indeed a big thing in this day and age - and there's so much conflicting advice.

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

Hmm, feeding on feelings of inadequacy has the same effect as feeding on feelings of guilt. Parents who are tricked into feeling guilty for not buying this or that, are indeed being tricked in feeling they cannot provide for their children like they should, i.e. they are inadequate.

Like I said to Profgrrrrl the Flemish version of child protection has a very good leaflet on what you need and especially when you need it. They can be a bit guilt-inducing (especially when you don't decide to breastfeed up until the sixth month), but they provide a good counterweight for shops and baby catalogues. And they tell you what to look out for when you choose a bed, or a stroller...

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

I like the apple too, but they don't sell it in every shop (some colours are more expensive than others, so they only sell the less expensive ones).

The Wedding Industry... I believe that was the reason why we never got married in the first place.

Whew.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm glad to see that someone else is having these questions. We're just starting in on "what do we need to get?" and I have no idea how much!

I've purchased a few outfits (couldn't help it) just this past week (so at 20 weeks). A few people have sent presents (clothing, blanket). Else we have nothing. We'll have a baby shower in early December, I think. That still leaves stroller, car seat, baby furniture.

I may do a post on this and see what people suggest getting.

-profgrrrrl

Re: Whew.

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

My sister told me she had enough clothes with everything she gave me -- which actually wasn't that much. Babies are quite small when born, but grow very quickly, so if you get too much clothes, you'll end up with things that'll only be worn once.

For the "big things" we can use a lot of what my sister used: baby carrier, relax seat, box, bath... We'll have to get bedroom furniture, though, but IKEA provides low-cost beds and change tables. In this case European norms and regulations are a plus: even though we choose the less expensive stuff, we're sure it's safe.

The stroller was something we'd been debating and pondering for weeks before deciding on this one. Asking around and hearing from other young parents what stroller they got and whether they like it, works wonders. As does trying them out in the store. (Last Thursday an acquaintance told me she got the same stroller, and loves it.)

For the car seat it's interesting to check whether you can find some tests. Crash tests with car seats are very reliable. And again: word of mouth. Do not rely on what people say on the internet, though. Some persons can break anything.

I don't know about the States, but the Flemish version of child protection provided me with a handy little book with everything a baby needs, and extra information about certain things (is this safe, when do you use that). To be honest: their list wasn't that long. Maybe you can get something like this?

The best advice I can give is: talk with other parents, check the stuff out they got, and usually they're quite honest in saying whether it was useful or just a horrible waste of money. If you've got a big circle of friends, family and acquaintances you're likely to end up with lots more stuff than you planned for in the first place. ;-)

Re: Whew.

[lijability.livejournal.com]

It's nice to have hand-me-downs, that's what families are for.


The US generally doesn't tell you much about child care unless you go to a family clinic. Over here the idea that you need to be told how to take care of a baby is anti-family.

Re: Whew.

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

What I like about it is that they centralise information. If you're bothered with anything regarding childcare (from problems in your pregnancy to looking for the right kind of daycare) they have that information for you and are happy to help. They did start out as an organisation to follow-up on children and this way diminish infant death. They still have free appointments where you can have your baby checked up and vaccinated, but sometimes their doctors and nurses do tend to be rather patronising.

So it's not really that they tell you how to take care of your baby. They simply give you the information you might need and make sure you know they are the organisation to go to in case of any other questions.

And if you want to try out your knowledge of Dutch: I'm talking about Kind en Gezin (http://www.kindengezin.be/KG/).

[iphi1.livejournal.com]

Ha! I also bought the Quinny. (in black) Very practical and also it's pretty!

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

It was the pretty that drove us to Quinny, but we couldn't figure out whether the Speedy or the Buzz was the more practical. In the end we opted for Buzz. I now want a plastic Buzz Lightyear to hang onto it. ;-)