Socialising

[franceslievens]

Big Sis and BiL* came over for dinner this evening. They're rebuilding their house and for the moment it looks a bit like a sand pit. One wouldn't think there are still people living upstairs. They were quite glad with my offer, and I was glad with the extra amount of socialising. Been feeling like shit the last couple of days: low sugar levels, bowel cramps, too tired to do anything useful during the day... It feels like first three months of pregnancy all over. The best pick-me-up in that case is indeed seeing people, or I'd lie on the couch all day not getting any kind of substantial food in.

In the process Big Sis has been trying to warm me up for Facebook over the last couple of days. She's all very excited about the 9 friends she has gathered over the last three days she's been on it. According to her standards it's extremely cool to keep up with friends and arrange dates etc. Big Sis never was an early adopter, but when she goes for something, she goes all the way**. Now she's kindly and sisterly pushing me to get a Facebook profile myself. I've been rather reluctant towards it. The only people I really need to keep in touch with online are you lot. Getting onto Facebook would be for the couple of RL-friends I hardly see or hear, because we don't talk that often. I'm quite convinced they probably all have a Facebook profile, and that I'd be able to find them through name and/or email address.
Getting back in touch with those friends on a regular basis would be cool, but still I'm reluctant to do so. In order not to make two different circles of online presence (one for the "real people" on Facebook and one for you lot on here), I'd invite you all over there as well, to widen my circle of friends as it were. This would mean (1) me disclosing my Real Name to you all, and (2) real life interfering with my online habit. I've never done any of those. It makes me a bit scared. What would you do? And how many of you have a Facebook presence anyway?

*That's Brother in Law and not a strange spelling of his name.
**I do think she made her profile in the first place to be able to spy upon her old school mates with public profiles.

Comments

[syderia]

I have a Facebook account (created so I can keep in touch with the friends graduating this fall), but I don't talk about it on LJ (except that I will in my next post), mainly because of the "disclosure of my real name" issue. I mean, if I'm not giving my real name on LJ, what's the point of my saying that I'm on Facebook.

Personally, I find Facebook disappointing, when I compare it LJ. Of course, I'm primarily a reader, so blogs and forums are my natural Internet niche. Facebook doesn't have enough substance for me to be satisfied with it. I consider it a necessary evil, one that has a few interesting benefits, like finding people I haven't talked to in ages (middle school friends...)

One thing that you have to be prepared for if you create an account is that people will find you. (A subject I'll expand upon in the aforementioned next post) They won't necessarily be people you remember, or people you'll want to designate as "Friends" - I think that term is even worse on Facebook than on LJ - and you'll have to figure out whether to add them or not.

I apologize for the long comment, you caught me at a point when I've been thinking about Facebook.

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

One thing that you have to be prepared for if you create an account is that people will find you.

I've heard that a lot, and being a teacher I never wanted to be "found" on the internet. I don't want my pupils to find stuff about me or things I said I'd rather not have them find out.
Both my sister and P. have a Facebook account, but because of their jobs they have already a certain presence on the internet. (If you google their names you'll find them and see what they're working on. If you google my real name you'll know which school I work at.)
They both have private or closed profiles though, to make sure the wrong people aren't able to find them.

[long-roadtoruin.livejournal.com]

I do...I have some overlap, but that's because a lot of my RL friends are on here, so know me anyways. There are very few on here who I've not met in person, so yeah...

I mostly use facebook to keep up with non LJ people...LJ is my main port of call though. Namely work/school people, or people I know but who I don't want to know the inner workings of my brain!

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

I think the appeal of Facebook for my Big Sis was that she can just put little things on there without having to worry about writing etc. She's got a lot of friends that moved away from the Brussels area, so for her it's cool to be able to keep in touch this way, and she likes to know what certain acquaintances are working on etc.
I feel very good at LJ. There are some people I miss in life (none of my RL friends has/reads LJ), and I was thinking this would be a good ways of keeping in touch with them, but frankly I don't even know for sure who's on there!

[comava.livejournal.com]

I was just doing one last flist check when I came upon this post and even though I'm going to have an awfully short night as it is - I know exactly what you mean. I was reluctant about Facebook because it meant that my real and online worlds would be colliding and I actually didn't want that at all. But when my sister finally persuaded me to join (our big sisters seem to have that in common!) I was pleasantly surprised. For one thing, Facebook is funner than most other online profile sites (like Myspace or Bebo, I wouldn't compare it to blogging sites like LJ though) and it's huge and international, so I found all sorts of old friends I never would have otherwise, and last but not least, the online friends I've found there are all very discreet about our online doings. I go under my RL name there as do they, so it's not like all of my online dealings are exposed for RL people to see. I'd never show my LJ to my RL friends, for example, but Facebook I feel is relatively harmless.

And now I really do have to get to sleep!

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that!

There are more people on here who know my RL name, and you're all very very discreet about it (including you). None of my LJ-friends I've met IRL use my real name online, whereas they never use my online name IRL. We're all a bit of split personalities aren't we. *g*

[simonf.livejournal.com]

I say if you feel awkward or hestitant about getting a Facebook account then you're wise not to get one. I have one which I semi use but I much prefer LJ.

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

I think I'd keep on preferring LJ, because I like writing. I'm still debating. ;-)

[frenchani.livejournal.com]

I am not on Facebook and don't plan to be...but you know my real name and I know yours anyway.

Today I saw In Bruges, an English film taking place in Belgium which first reminded me my own time in Bruges years ago, and then that I should pay you a visit in your new apartment before the birth...when you feel bettre of course!

*hugs*

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

Dinner seems to have done me good. And watching Les Choristes. Talk about a film where you see the ending coming from miles away! And that singer was a horrible actor.

In Bruges was indeed filmed in Bruges, so there was this whole hype about Colin Farrell coming to Bruges, and all these ladies wanting to be an extra (they needed extras for the film and asked for it on the radio when they started filming).
For some reason I didn't find this very interesting when it was all happening, so I didn't even mention it on my LJ! Sometimes I forget the important stuff -- or I think that what's on the radio over here must have reached other European countries as well.

[iphi1.livejournal.com]

I have a facebook account, basically because people kept asking me why I didn't have an account, but I don't actually use it much.

People can find me and friend me, but my profile is as private as it can be. I don't initiate any activities or friending, and I certainly keep it completely separate from LJ - fandom. Only real life people can friend me on Facebook. Personally, I find it comforting to know that in my universe LJ and Facebook are two separate worlds. I really don't want my real life friends and family to find my LJ profile so I'd never refer to my LJ profile on Facebook. (I guess you know my RL name, but I'm sure you don't feel compelled to out me in any way :) )

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

Oh of course I wouldn't "out" you!

I've got a couple of RL friends who know about my LJ, and P. has me on his reading list of blogs, but all the others aren't interested in the least! I have sent out the link to certain friends, but they can't be bothered to read. For some reason I find this a comforting thought.
What I find interesting is that most of the people who have and sort of use both LJ and Facebook (notice how we affectionately shorten Livejournal to LJ, but never talk about FB?) make a rift between RL and internet. I think with RL friends there isn't the need to write long stuff, because you're able to contact each other in more direct ways. Facebook then is a ways of keeping everyone up to date and not falling out of touch, where LJ is for us a means of communication, and not necessarily a quick broadcasting tool to let your world now what you've been up to. (Though it feels like there's something wrong with that analogy.)