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franceslievensWalking in the sun in the park, I realised I haven't done that often all the years I've lived in this neighbourhood. Though it's a nice park, I never had much inclination going, and today it felt like saying goodbye. We'll be moving in three weeks to another part of town, with a different park and different touristy landmarks.
Thinking about that this afternoon, I got struck by a melancholic mood. Not a dark one, where in despair I try to clutch at what once was, but a lightheaded mood that told me I am in fact on a crossroads. I have made decisions, and am waiting for them to unfold. It gives me time to look back and think that I haven't done so bad after all. Despite all the stupidity and blunders and general fear of other people, I have done quite okay. Now is a fine time to move on.
I don't know what brought on this state of mind. It might be hormonal, or the effect of yesterday's conversations with A., who too sees his life unfold in the direction of recent decisions, or maybe it's only the immediate consequence of reading a universe as fascinating as His Dark Materials, where every decision puts you on an inevitable path.
Thinking about that this afternoon, I got struck by a melancholic mood. Not a dark one, where in despair I try to clutch at what once was, but a lightheaded mood that told me I am in fact on a crossroads. I have made decisions, and am waiting for them to unfold. It gives me time to look back and think that I haven't done so bad after all. Despite all the stupidity and blunders and general fear of other people, I have done quite okay. Now is a fine time to move on.
I don't know what brought on this state of mind. It might be hormonal, or the effect of yesterday's conversations with A., who too sees his life unfold in the direction of recent decisions, or maybe it's only the immediate consequence of reading a universe as fascinating as His Dark Materials, where every decision puts you on an inevitable path.
